Posts

Showing posts from 2016

Monolog #13

Image
Salam Maulidur Rasul cuti hari isnin sempena malidur rasul (ahad) . alhamdulillah aku rasa much better. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah.syukur pada Tuhan yang maha pemurah dan penyayang. 2  hari aku terbaring dekat katil. my body getting weaker and its cant keep it up with my reckless act. i have receive the lesson. rasa menzalimi badan sendiri. sebab? sebab tidur lewat selama 2 minggu , dan rasakan akibatnya. pray for me. to be stronger, positive and calm .

Monolog #12

Image
Perhaps, it would be a good idea to invest in creating a life from which you do not feel the need to run.

Book one

Image
In order to encourage myself to be a better human, i have launched a mission to read the books and will keep posted the screenshot here. You may find the collection of books via play books. Some are free, some of it need to pay. 

Empatpuluhenam

Image
Life, love and pray Things getting hard everyday Now the only wish is to runaway For the price that i have to pay

Lesen

Image
Salah satu benda yang aku malas nak amek tapi kena paksa diri sendiri untuk amek jugak. Macam mana nak berdikari ni. Kena paksa diri. Tukar benda yang tak suka jadi suka. Sampai tahun bila nak tangguh lagi? Takut?semua orang ada rasa takut. Belajar untuk kawal rasa takut tu. Belum cuba dah kalah, itu namanya loser. Buat benda yang tak suka, level diffilculty lagi terasa. Kena mula dengan a step. You can do it. I pray for the best.

Salt

Image
Another aim to buy a book. Tapi buku ni tak jual kat malaysia. Nak kena beli kat luar and shipping kat sini. Tak pandai nak beli camni. Nanti tanya orang camne. Buku ni best!

Monolog #11

Image
Today, my mom has called me. Giving advise as usual to urge me on marriage. Its around 30 minutes this time. Asking me am i sick and hiding any secret from her. Asking me why im not married which i dont have any answer for that. 5 seconds, after we have finished the call. She called me back. Telling me sorry if she hurt me with her words. She asked me to think about it. With a shaky voice. Its look like shes crying. What shoul i do? I wanna be a good daughter.

Monolog #10

Image
No wonder You have been one of my favourite authors Your writing Is perfectly fit To the time Places Feeling of mine

Happy life

Image
How to Achieve a Happy Life An American psychologist said: Living a happy life is a fine art which entails ten things: 1. Do a work that you love. If you cannot do that, then find a hobby that you love and do it in your spare time and reinforce it. 2. Take care of your health for it is the spirit of happiness. This means being moderate in eating and drinking, exercising regularly and avoiding bad habits. 3. Have a goal in life, for this will give you motivation and energy. 4. Take life as it comes, and accept the bitter and the sweet. 5. Live in the present, with no regret for the past and no anxiety about tomorrow that has not come yet. 6. Think hard about any action or decision, and do not blame anyone else for your decision or its consequences. 7. Look at those who are worse off than you. 8. Have the habit of smiling and being cheerful, and keep company with optimistic people. 9. Strive to make others happy so that you may benefit from the atmosphere of happiness. 10. Mak

Monolog #9

Image
Some lyric have come through my mind. *Background play The Reason hoobastank "there's many things I wish I didn't do" I have lots of things in mind. But i did not take any actions. I have the time in weekend, but i just wasted it. I have a friend where i do inspire on her actions. She has a goal. In the same time, she plans the milestones. Truly inspire to see how hardworking she is. Actions speak louder than words. True indeed.

Profession

Image
Hari ahad yang tenang seperti biasa. Dan macam biasa, aku masih terperuk di rumah dengan tagline nowhere nowhere to go. Opah dari semalam pergi pd dengan family. Jadi, belek belek cerita dalam hard disk. Bukak cerita the return of superman. Hari tu terjebak tengok cite ni sebab triplet baby yang comel sumpah tak tipu. So aku skip je la sume part just tengok part dorang je, hahaha Sebab tak tahu nak tengok apa, jadi pasang je la cite ni tengok dari episode satu. Salah satu part yang aku suka, tengok cara cultere cara didik dorang camne. Interesting behaviour tengok perangai baby budak budak yang mana simple je if we come to understand the signs. Episode 3 dan 4, kisab ayah si twin ni bawak pergi checkup. Serious aku salute dekat doktor dan nurse yang memang handle disease development baby. Baby ni fragile. Kita yang dah dewasa somehow can manage the pain. Tak kira la sakit macam mana. Kita still boleh counter dengan mindset. Tapi baby yang kecik ni dia hanya boleh rasa lapar, sakit,

A little braver

Image
I am a fan of this band. New umpire!

Monolog #8

Image
In silent or loud, nobody understand you better than Him - cekelong aka ros putih, 2016. Thank you for the reminder. I felt much better now.

Monolog #7

Image
Haip. Assalamualaikum. August 2016. Not many things happen as i kept locking myself. Maybe i have lost in the world that i used to live. I dont go to see the world outside except working. Less update in facebook, insta and blogger. I did not take picture often. Im not participating much in group conversation. Am i losing all my interest? Am i having a depression.

Listen

Image

Monolog #6

Image
Baru je lepas tengok video sorang guru Al quran meninggal masa majlis bacaan yassin. Wonder. Diri sendiri. Mati nanti macam mana. Macam mana cara Allah jemput pulang. Husnul khatimah? Atau dalam keadaan aib, mintak dijauhkan. Allah.

Monolog #5

Benda yang aku rasa owsem bila naik bas, bila mana semua reflection hidup bebas meneroka terowong masa, past present and future. Depend pada cara kau meneroka, semua feeling mixed habis sampai boleh buat mata masuk habuk. Kadang kadang kau tak tahu apa yang di fikir, blankly starring to scenary outside the window while listening to music. Sampai terbawak bawak dengan liriklirik lagu. #monolog

Jangan layan

Image
Dua hari yang lepas aku ada post satu gambar dekat instagram. Memang time tu rasa tak best betul betul tak best. Sebabnya baru deal satu kes admission. Vendor tak respon jadi tahu je la rasa dia macam mana orang yang duduk tengah tengah ni. Jadi update la satu gambar dengan caption jangan layan rasa tak best, peace! So a few friends give a comment and one of those comment keep me thinking over and over. Dia kata, kadang kadang rasa tak best tu bukan sebab rasa, bukan sebab manusia, mungkin kita lupa untuk tepuk dada, bertanya apa mahunya. Yes. What do you want? Apa yang awak mahu? I keep reflecting this comment and put in myself. Life reflection. What i want? What im going with this given short life? Figure it out ziela! Ganbatte!

Monolog #4

Image
Dont worry Im ok Im going to find my old self back Looking for what i had lost past years Good routine and warm feeling Striving to be a better human I will keep standing I will keep moving Im not going to stop To stop means to die I will survive I will In Shaa Allah

Monolog #3

When im not being myself; Diagnosis 1) Tidur lambat. 2) Tak suka angkat call, dan call orang. I let my parent worried. I do have method to not let them worried. I will not let them worried. This is a promise. 3) Jauh dengan Tuhan. 4) lately, i kept saying that i want to play around on weekend. Go to nice place. But i end up staying at home. It so boring for the first week. But it turn out nice, comfortable at the second week. If this continue, i might lock myself home on weekend 😂. 5) Working is not excite me anymore. Why i behave like these? Mungkin nak masuk alam remaja atau pun ni simpton dah masuk alam tua 😂

Love

Image
No one who followed their heart has ever gotten lost. But love sometimes means letting go. And sometimes means holding on. Yet you'll never know the difference, unless you quiet the outer noise. And listen. Carefully. From the inside. That's where your answer lies. On the inside. Your answer is already there. It always has been. So listen carefully. But once you find it, have the courage to follow. Have courage, dear heart. No one who followed their heart has ever gotten lost. Love, yasmin mogahed

Waiting waiting

Image
Im waiting for my little sis and her friend to finish their prayer. My lil sis been here for the first time arriving at TBS kuala lumpur. Shes having a training at maktab koperasi malaysia, and im gladly to show the way as she is not familiar with the routes, lost with trains etc. The feeling was great. Been able to show the way for needy which i also wished i had. Most of the time, since form 4 till now, im surviving my self alone at the new place which regards to the study, working etc. From mzms muadzam, kmj tangkak, ukm bangi and now kuala lumpur, the feeling lost everytime in a new place was something unforgottable. Just imagine someone who never out from her hometown, got order from mum to further study outside the world that i never wish. No friend to lean, no one visit me every weekend, survive everytime going back and returned, somehow i manage to survive here. Of course after through struggling. No pain no gain. Previously, im almost vomiting all the times when taking bus s

Monolog #2

Image
Kenapa kita risau benda yang tak pasti jadi lagi. Risau dengan kerja pejabat yang tak akan habis. Risau dengan masa yang mendatang. How?risau itu ini. Kenapa kenapa kenapa Why not keep it simple, enjoy every gifted moments. No regret. Be honourable all the times.

Empatpuluhlima

Image
Dont give up Have a faith! You know who you are.

Empatpuluhempat

Image
I said to self that i am scared Fear to face the future that i never seen They asked me of what am i fear about I replied; the word itself

Updates

Image
Terasa lama juga tak tulis pape kat sini. Sekadar singgah, baca dan tutup. Masa tak tahu pergi mana, sedar sedar bulan 3. Bulan ni banyak sangat orang kawin. Budak batch aku pun dua orang kawin bulan ni. Boleh jadi zombi woo dua minggu. Sorang kedah sorang pahang. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. Kahwin sudah lolong dan cik puan. Selamat menempuh onak ranjau perkahwinan, ewahh. Perancangan hanya melalui komunikasi wassap, tapi aku anggap berjaya la event kali ni. At the end, people still hoping for happy ending is it? Sebab setiap kali wedding jauh jauh, mula la buat program, tengok tempat, rasa makanan tempat orang. Sementara masih boleh katakan. Perancangan lebib besar?nantikan. Aiming for this but have not confirm yet. Keep it safe somewhere. Tapi nak bagitahu awal awal ni bukan ada kena mengena dengan kawin okayy  Attached pictures untuk tatapan ❤ Berkatilah perkahwinan mereka ya Allah 

Empatpuluhtiga

Image
The one who drew the line And said please dont cross it The one who drew the line But people kept cross it The one who drew the line And you request to cross it

Motivation

Image
Iove this written by yasmin mogahed. I have been through some dark times in my life and I have had to make some very hard decisions. But I'll tell you what I've learned. Life isn't supposed to be miserable. It isn't supposed to be excruciatingly painful. It supposed to suffocate or drain you.  Are there parts of life that will make you feel this way? Yes. Absolutely. But, why? We *must* ask why. Why do we go through these things? Is it so that we  stay still and bear it stoically? Is it to passively endure and call it "sabr" or patience? Absolutely not. In fact we go through misery, pain, suffocation for the exact opposite reason: To push us towards *change*. Movement. Growth. "Sabr" is not standing still. "Sabr" is not being passive. Sabr is the endurance necessary to make the change needed to *move* one step closer to where Allah wants us to be. God created pain, in both the physical and spiritual world, as a wake up call. As a moti

Awaken

Image
"Awaken" We were given so many prizes  We changed the desert into oasis  We built buildings of different lengths and sizes  And we felt so very satisfied  We bought and bought  We couldn't stop buying  We gave charity to the poor cause We couldn't stand their crying  We thought we paid our dues  But in fact to ourselves we're just lying  Ooh I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place  I'm walking with my head lowered from my race  Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west  When in fact all focus should be on ourselves  I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place  I'm walking with my head lowered from my race  Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west  When in fact all focus should be on ourselves We were told what to buy and we bought  We went to London, Paris and Costa Del Sol  We made sure we were seen in the most exclusive shops Yes we felt so very satisfied! We felt our money gave

Empatpuluhdua

Image
I saw a girl With the icy eyes She's begging herself To be kinder days to days Even it means killing her inside I saw a girl Giving a smile with all she had Being silent when she's mad Hoping herself not being that sad She is just an ordinary girl Who is like to have Simply, peacefully, happily live And all the sweet words with ly at the back :p

Empatpulusatu

Image
Just realized I have been frozen for all these times to open the moment of decision to decide the best among the best I just stay and look away Let the seconds played I want to learn more I want to read more I want to widen my sight I want to fill the empty inside Not good enough Still not good enough Mirage

Lipas

Nak dijadikan cerita, aku tak da la kisah ngeri dengan lipas yang biasa cliche dalam cerita novel atau tv tu. Dulu dengan lipas ni kalau dia jalan jalan or terbang terbang, aku masih boleh pandang dengan sebelah mata dan say hi. Dua tahun lepas, masa aku tengah rehatrehat makhluk ini dengan sesuka hati terbang ke arah aku tanpa bagi signal. Aku punyalah terkejut  terus bangun meluru keluar dari bilik. That was the first time im glad the adrenaline working so fast! Aku kejut member bilik aku yang tengah tidur tu suruh keluarkan makhluk ni. Dia yang biasa takut jugak bangun tidur dengan mamai mamai halau benda tu keluar. Amazed kejap tengok orang mamai mamai halau lipas. Sejak dari tu aku mula pandang lipas dengan dua mata hahaha. Tapi sekarang dah okay sikit. Sebab aku guna mind control kawal balik and reverse keadaan. Aku tak tahu benda ni membantu atau tak, maybe korang boleh try buat camni: 1) Bila korang terjumpa benda ni paling basic adalah untuk bertenang. Tok sah nak jerit je

Wahai diri belajarlah untuk redha!

Image
Dalam hidup memang banyak benda yang kita perlu ajar diri untuk redha. Jerit dalam hati kuat kuat, wahai diri redhalah dengan ketentuan ilahi. Sampai rasa neutral balik. Sila buat untuk benda benda yang menyakitkan kau, menyedihkan kau dan sebagainya. Tak membantu sangat tapi kau akan rasa lega. Sikit. Kadang kadang sampai satu tahap kau mula akan tertanya tanya kenapa aku je yang rasa sakit. Kenapa aku je yang rasa tak suka tapi semua orang suka. Normal la tu. Ujian untuk jadikan kau lebih kuat, lebih bertaqwa dan beriman. Dalam keadaan kelam kabut kau tak kan sedar. Cuba bertenang dan reflect. Allah tak kan bagi ujian ni kalau kau tak mampu nak tanggung. Pencipta kita dah bagitahu siap siap dah. Maksudnya kau mampu! Kau boleh buat! Ok! Jadi jangan sedih sangat, marah sangat, stress sangat. Semua akan baik baik saja. Senyum c:

Life

Image
Life changes its beauty all the time Sometimes it’s a shade, sometimes life is sunlight Live every moment here to your heart’s content The time that is here may not be tomorrow