depressed? what is the cure?

yesterday, it was a tough day for me. I doing some mistake and make people around me being in  difficult state.I am sorry. i will be more careful next time. i'm crying again, such a long time i not being that way. Although   i not want to be that way at first, it was my heart so fragile and ruin everything. with no place to say everything that i want to say, even i cant tell my mom of what happened since i do not want her worry neither i cant share with my friends also since its really awkward.

with no place to hide my existence, keep deeply inside, endure as much as i can, show fake smile to tell em everything okay even is just a bluff to cover everything. come back work with silent mood,  i try to refresh back what i am doing lately, thinking thoroughly relationship with Allah, family and friends. i kept looking, am i doing too much sins, until i forget to repent back. That's why Allah give this troubles to make me awake from this reality.

That's true. That's what i believe. i kept telling myself, everything troubles come is one of the way that show, Allah love us much more then we were thinking. 

Alhamdulillah, after wake up from sleep, i feel much better, much ease more than yesterday. I try to dare myself to face today. Alhamdulillah, everything seems to be okay.

yesterday also, i realized that i'm still be hunting with that memory. something that cant be disappear that much. even i try to forget it, it just erased that easier. i though it already cured, since i'm having this difficulties last during second year. yet, a few weeks ago, i'm still shaking with loud-anger voices, even is not related with me. fear something until shaking that much. it is normal  if you will having fear. but it just not right,  even i'm telling my self to stop it, it does not work. i cant watch violent things too. its make me freeze. i tough i had cured already. but its still hunting me. Ya Allah, help me to cured this, please make me strong enough to face all coming things. 

even you find the a way, neither is  not the way

turned to Allah, is the best solution ever

saya sayangan adik lelaki saya. Dia sudah banyak dapat  ujian dari Allah. saya doakan dia moga dia jadi anak yang soleh. semoga dia jumpa kebahagian yang abadi.

sincerely,

ziedyaizara

26 Feb 2013, 11.17 pm